


Hello, I'm a Thief, and I'm Here to Steal Your Heart

by AngelHeartObsession



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bad Puns, How Do I Tag, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possibly OOC, Possibly crack?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 04:13:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12999603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelHeartObsession/pseuds/AngelHeartObsession
Summary: His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly as he considered his next course of action. To be honest, there was a small part of himself that took pride in having a large repertoire of science pick-up lines, so hearing someone easily spit one back at him was interesting. Of course, he decided that the smart course of action was saying, “Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine.”Or: The fic that no one asked for involving cheesy pick-up lines and complete, utter dorks.Or: How Leonard Snart and Barry Allen created a friendship based on pick-up lines.





	Hello, I'm a Thief, and I'm Here to Steal Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Umm… hi? This is my first fanfic after going a really long time without writing anything, and this is my first fanfic posted through AO3. I was just really bored and decided that starting a fanfic was a good idea? Either way, this is in existence, so I hope you like it?

Len isn’t even quite sure how he ended up in this situation.

No, actually, he does. He clearly remembers that he was at Lisa’s high school, waiting to pick her up after whatever club she had that day. It was a surprise for her, since he told her that he was going to be out of town for two weeks. However, his ‘business’ finished early, so he was a whole two days early.

Now, usually, he wouldn’t have shown his face at her high school at all. It was… too public for his taste. But his sister was so sad that he might miss her birthday since it was tomorrow, so he wanted to surprise her as an early birthday present (along with the beautiful sapphire necklace he ‘acquired’ for her during his time away. She did so love beautiful, sparkling things).

However, that doesn’t quite explain how he ended up standing in a classroom door, watching some kid rambling to someone on his phone. He vaguely remembers that he went into the actual school because being outside of a school “brooding”, as Lisa would have put it, would have put more suspicion on him than he would have been comfortable with. So he just entered the school and had been wandering the halls, thinking that he could at least find Lisa somewhere.

Not that it was a hardship watching the kid. He was entertaining, at least. He was in constant motion, whether it be running his hand through his light brown hair as he paced or pushing his glasses up from where they kept on sliding down his nose (personally, Len thought that the kid’s glasses obscured his pretty green eyes, but he squashed that thought down before it got any further. The kid barely looked like he was in high school, and Len bet he was at least twice the kid’s age). He was talking quite vehemently against whoever it was on the other end of the line, and while Len had no idea what it was about, it sounded amusing from the end that he could listen to.

“…I don’t even know why  _they_ would invite me into their club. Me! Barry trips-over-his-own-feet Allen! This club is all about dancing and being smooth and charming, and I have the charisma of a wet sock!” The kid, ‘Barry’, said over the phone. He listened to whatever who he was talking to reply, and he snorted. “Yeah right, me knowing a whole ton of pick-up lines is supposed to somehow make me ‘smooth’. They’re all mostly science ones. I mean, do you really think that someone would actually respond to “Hey, are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are Cu-Te”?”

“That’s sweet, kid, but you’re a little bit too young for my taste,” Len finally piped up. He hardly could let such a corny pick up line like that go without _some_ comment on it. As much as Lisa said that his obsession with puns is unhealthy, he still allows himself to have an appreciation of clever word play (and cheesy pick up lines such as the one that the kid spout out).

Plus, it was hilarious seeing the kid jump almost a whole foot in the air.

Barry whipped around, about ready to yell at whoever it was that snuck up on him, but whatever he was about to say died down in his throat. Because… _wow_. Hot damn. He definitely wasn’t prepared to see a clearly older, handsome man leaning against the doorway to the empty History classroom he was in, crossing his arms and looking all too amused at Barry, a smirk playing across his sinfully pink lips. Absentmindedly, Barry remembered how the sky was pretty cloudy today, adding on an additional chill to the fall weather and warranting people to wear warmer clothing, such as the black trench coat that the man was wearing as well as the pair of form-fitting black pants, which was an ensemble that definitely complimented the man.

He blames his teenage hormones, his thought about the cloudy skies, and lack of filter in general for what left his mouth next.

“I now know why the skies are grey today. All of the blue is in your eyes.”

It took everything in Barry to not slap his hand across his mouth once his brain registered what he said, but he knew that he was still blushing as red as a tomato. It was both an effort and yet no effort at all to keep his eyes locked with the man’s eyes, which actually _were_ a captivating shade of blue. The man raised one eyebrow, and Barry decided that yes, he needed to escape the room as fast as possible.

“I’ll see you at home, Iris,” he absentmindedly said, hanging up on his foster sister’s rapid-fire questioning about ‘what did you just say, if you don’t answer me right now, Bartholomew Henry Allen—”

The silence stretched between Barry and this stranger for a lot longer than he was comfortable with before Barry coughed and said, “Well then, I would appreciate if you would move so that I could find the nearest hole to bury myself in.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” The stranger drawled, and Barry started cursing in his mind because _why the hell did this complete stranger have a voice like that goddammit—_ “I really thought that we had a… _connection_. That pick-up line was definitely… ‘charismatic’.”

“Yes, I have no say in what comes out of my mouth,” Barry huffed, suddenly angry because he really didn’t feel like dealing with a stranger’s teasing, not to mention that apparently this stranger had listened in on his conversation, which was a little bit shady in his opinion “I’m really quite the fool and a geek and a sucker for dumb pick-up lines, so now that we’ve established that, can you please move—”

“But I just wanted to ask if you were full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium, because you are Be-Au-Ti-ful,” The stranger said, and honestly, if Barry’s mouth could drop any lower, he would be digging towards the center of the Earth.

Len honestly didn’t really know exactly why he decided to say a pick-up line to this kid, but it came out of his mouth either way. His smirk, which was already playing across his lips throughout this entire exchange, only got wider as he saw the dumbstruck look across the kid’s face. He said, “What, you thought you were the only one who had science pick-up lines?”

Somehow, that snapped Barry out of whatever phase he was in. His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly as he considered his next course of action. To be honest, there was a small part of himself that took pride in having a large repertoire of science pick-up lines, so hearing someone easily spit one back at him was interesting. Of course, he decided that the smart course of action was saying, “Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine.”

“Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? Because you are F-I-Ne.”

“You look familiar. Did we have class together? I could have sworn we had chemistry.”

“Chemists do it on the table. Periodically.”

At that, the kid’s face flushed an even brighter shade of tomato than he had previously, and Len was only slightly concerned that he may have accidentally crossed some line the kid has, but the kid surprised him. “If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so that I could unzip your genes.”

Barry froze up, wondering where the hell he got that sudden courage from when this stranger let out a bark of laughter. He smirked and said, “Quite bold of you, considering that you look barely old enough to be out of middle school.”

This time, Barry flushed out of indignation rather than out of embarrassment. “Excuse me, I’m a sophomore.”

“Huh,” Len let out, actually a little bit surprised. “If you aren’t a freshman, I guess I can’t say now that you’re a nine, but you’d be a perfect ten if you had me.”

The kid opened his mouth, about to say something else when Len’s phone rang in his pocket. He took it out and answered his, his eyes not leaving Barry’s. “Hello?”

“LEONARD SNART, ARE YOU AT MY HIGH SCHOOL AND DIDN’T TELL ME?” Len winced and moved his phone away from his ear slightly as his sister’s ‘wonderful’ voice screeched out of the tiny speaker. Once he felt it was safe enough, he put the phone back to his ear and drawled, “Surprise, Lisa.”

“Where are you?! I see your car, but I don’t see you!”

“I’ll be out there soon,” Len replied. “We’ll go out for dinner. Wherever you want. My treat.”

After Lisa enthusiastically agreed and hung up, Len turned towards the kid, about to say goodbye and resign himself to not seeing the kid again. It was a shame, he was kind of having fun trading pick up lines with the kid.

However, before he could say anything, the kid blurted out, “There’s something wrong with my phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.”

Len raised an eyebrow at that, unsure of whether this was a genuine invitation or just a continuation of their earlier conversation. But when the kid blushed and hesitantly held out his phone, Len decided to treat it as a genuine offer. He took the phone and programmed his cell phone number in it (his actual phone, which doesn’t get a lot of use considering how much he just uses burner phones and only really uses this phone number to talk to his sister when he was in town). As he did this and texted himself to get the kid’s number, he said. “Do you have a name?” As an afterthought, he tacked on “Or can I call you mine?”

The kid’s face somehow got redder. “Barry. Allen. My name’s Barry Allen.”

“Leonard Snart,” he said, wondering what it was about this kid that made him forget that he should have given a fake name rather than his actual name. Well, he already gave the kid his phone number, so… “Call me Len.”

“I could see why you would have a nickname. I never thought I could actually hear something worse than ‘Bartholomew’ as a name,” Barry said, before realizing that his comment could be taken in the wrong way. “Not that your name isn’t, like, awful or anything like that! I mean, it’s a perfectly serviceable name, you could have been stuck with something like ‘Muriel’ or something equally as horrible. Although I guess it’s not just ‘Leonard’ that’s really bad, but in combination with ‘Snart’—you know, I should shut up now.”

Oddly enough, Len didn’t find Barry’s rambling terrible. In fact, he found it awkwardly endearing. “I bet you definitely put a new meaning to ‘I could flirt with you, but I’d rather allure you with my awkwardness.”

“Uh, yeah,” Barry said, letting out a small chuckle as he took his phone back. They both stood awkwardly in the classroom before Len decided to just take his leave. As he turned to leave, Barry called out to him. “You dropped something back here.”

“What?”

“This conversation. Let’s pick it up later tonight?”

There was so much hesitation in the last sentence that Len had paused, seriously contemplating if mixing with this kid was a smart idea. In the end, he said, “I’ll text you later.”

Barry practically sagged with relief, although Len had no way to know that as he was exiting the classroom. He took one last look at Len’s retreating back, and while he didn’t know where this sudden bout of confidence came from, he also couldn’t resist taking out his phone and shooting Len a text.

_Are you made of Nickel, Cerium, Arsenic, and Sulfur? Because you have a NiCe AsS._

**Author's Note:**

> To be perfectly honest, I don’t even know where this whole thing came from? Like, I was just randomly exchanging pick-up lines with my roommate, and I thought, in true “Imagine your OTP” style, “Imagine your OTP meeting and finding that they had a mutual love of pick-up lines. They become friends over this, texting each other bad pick up lines that they find or sometimes having pick up line battles. They got to know each other past the dumb pick-up lines, but whenever Person A has a bad day, Person B always had a pick-up line to make them feel better, and vice versa. Eventually, years down the road, Person A says a pick-up line implying that they would spend the rest of their life with Person B, and Person B just responds with, ‘Okay’.” 
> 
> So then this spawned after a solid hour of writing? I’m 99% sure that Barry and Len are out of character (considering that I’ve only watched Season 1 and 2 of the Flash, it’s probably expected), and I think I went overboard with the pick-up lines, but to be honest, this isn’t beta-ed and is my first fic after giving up fanfiction writing for the majority of my high school career. Anyone who wants to beta it is welcomed (as long as it’s constructive criticism, since I don’t handle criticism very well in general, much less destructive criticism). But, either way, this has come into existence. I hope you like it? There’s probably more coming, especially since I have a love of pick-up lines and fluff and all that other stuff, but I also want to gauge whether people actually want me to continue this or not. So, kudos, comments, and possible suggestions are definitely welcomed!


End file.
